It is not easy going through a divorce. Tensions run high, which often lead a couple to make poor decisions. Given the mountain of emotional, financial, and practical details one has to wade through, it is not surprising that many end
up making crucial mistakes on the path to divorce. As no one actually thinks divorce lies in their future until it takes place, most are unprepared for this life-altering event. However, the process does not have to be harder than it already is. On that note, here are some mistakes to avoid while undergoing a divorce:
Fighting Dirty
It is best to keep matters as clean and civil as possible. There might be plenty of occasions to get ridden with jealousy, anger, and frustration. However, taking the high road and being calm and mature will ultimately pay off in the end. The separating spouses need to remember that they were able to see the good in the other person at one time and with respect to that, be polite with them. Divorce is not a battle or contest.
Taking it Out on Children
A separating couple with children needs to be extra careful. Kids require a supportive environment to deal with divorce. So, the parents should minimize any talk about the process in front of them. They also need to refocus their energy so that they can be both physically and mentally present for their children. These could include helping them with homework, taking them out once in a while to the movies, and attending after-school events. The couple needs to avoid taking out their stress on children, directly or indirectly.
Allowing Your Family/Friends to Exercise Your Control
Another common pitfall to avoid is allowing one’s family and friends too much control over the divorce. Though they may have the best intentions at heart, one’s family members can often make divorce a contentious affair by stirring up emotions that cloud judgement. While it is alright to keep a small circle of loved ones whom they trust, a reasonable degree of control should exist over their influences.
Turn into a Financial Victim
When it comes to finances, it is easy to become vulnerable. In certain cases, one of the spouses may have been the main breadwinner and in charge of financial management. This gives them an unfair advantage. In such instances, the other spouse needs to educate themselves regarding the financial situation. One can make copies of all relevant financial records and have an arrangement for receiving post-divorce income. It is a good idea to collect as much information as possible so that one is not in the dark regarding finances.
Sidestep Mediation
Divorce mediation can resolve a lot of disagreements and issues. An individual and their spouse may not see eye to eye regarding everything. They may have different opinions on matters such as spousal support, child custody, and division of assets. Mediation greatly helps in such a situation and makes things smoother.
It is wise to put aside strong emotions and cooperate with one’s spouse as that will benefit both parties in the long run. Sorting out the thornier issues with a calm and level head will help both to emerge out of the divorce with fewer bruises.